Hopelessly devoted to Lexie
by Kayla-Louise
Summary: Sara left Vegas three years ago with one little secret, now this little secret will be introduced to Sara's old team mates, how will they react? Please read and find out.
1. Chapter 1

Hopelessly devoted to Lexie

Authors note – I know I have many stories that need updating on this site, but all readers like myself know, once you get a story or an idea in her head you have to write it down, before your head explodes. Truthfully the reason for lack of updates on other stories is, I have writers block. If anyone has any ideas, no matter how daft you think they are I would be grateful for the help.

Disclaimer – Don't own CSI, but if I did Sara would never have left, although is back and Warrick wouldn't be dead!

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Do you sometimes get the feeling that you made a mistake and can not turn back the time? I have. I Sara Sidle made the biggest mistake of my life and now three years later I am regretting it, every word and every dish I broke, they were expensive too.

"Sara are you in there?" Catherine asked knocking on my bedroom door "Sara?"

"Just a minute" I reply smiling at the sleeping form of my three year old daughter Alexis beside me.

"Sara if you're not decent I'm coming in" Catherine announced pounding on the door.

"Mommy?" Alexis asks yawning and rubbing her tired eyes "Who's the crazy lady?"

"Sssh Lexie you're a surprise, remember?" I reply smiling down at my child.

"Sorry mommy, I forgot" Alexis replies rolling her blue eyes at me, her fathers eyes.

"Cath come on in, it's open" I shout trying not to giggle at Catherine for not being able to open a simple door.

"Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?" Catherine enquired turning her head to the side glancing at Alexis "Cute kid, babysitting?"

"No she's my mommy" Alexis replied pointing proudly at me "I have a beautiful mommy, don't I?"

"Sara Sidle has a daughter? Well I'm speechless" Catherine said rubbing her neck "How old are you little one?"

"I'm three and I'm not little, actually I'm tall for my age" Alexis replied standing up tall.

"Well you're definitely a Sidle" Catherine remarked "Three years is too long Sara, especially since well you know"

"I know I'm sorry, I was going to come back and introduce you all to Lexie, but well after how Gil reacted I changed my mind" I said smiling down at my precious little girl "Lexie go play in the living room"

As Lexie went to run out of the room, my smile exceeding the normal parameters it should possibly go on any normal human being, Lexie stopped at Catherine's legs and gave them a hug and from Catherine's facial expression a bone crunching one.

"Wow, yes definitely a Sidle" Catherine groaned "Strong for a three year old, what you been feeding her?"

"Food Cath" I reply rolling my eyes "How did you find us?"

"Well when your husband is a detective, you find things out" Catherine replied laughing loudly at my facial expression.

Ok I agree three years is too long, last time I knew Catherine wanted to become a nun, now I find out she's married, to whom I don't know, god I need to gossip.

"You're married? Since when?" I ask calmly walking out my bedroom and into the kitchen "Coffee?"

"Please, I'm married to Jim and it's been two years today" Catherine replies looking over at Lexie "Oh I also have a two year old son, Max"

"What?" I gasp dropping Lexie's Winnie the Pooh beaker in the sink "Your a mother?"

"Sara I've always been a mother just not with Jim" Catherine said giggling "So when you coming back to the crime lab?"

"I'm not, I have Lexie now and that's all I'm doing with my life" I reply pouring Apple Juice into the beaker and placing it on the kitchen table, next to the food I prepared earlier "Lexie dinner time"

"We will see about that" Catherine whispered "Hello Lexie"

"Hello" Lexie replied looking at me then Catherine "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"I'm Catherine Brass, I'm an old friend of your mothers and I thought about coming to say hello" Catherine replied smiling at my daughter "Lexie how would you like to come visit where your mommy used to work?"

"Oh mommy can I?" Alexis begged "Please I've been ever so good, please"

I'm going to kill Catherine Brass, seems strange saying that, ok where was I? Oh yes I'm going to kill Catherine Brass and hide the body for all eternity, just kidding I couldn't do that she has a two year old son, that also seems weird for me to say. I know I just give her the Sara Sidle glare, ummm didn't work, damn it!

"Alexis you know we can't" I reply sombrely when I see tears in my three year olds eyes "Lexie I'm sorry"

"No your not!" Lexie says tears flowing "I want to see where you work, have I ever begged for anything before?"

"No, but" I reply being cut off my Catherine, kill her.

"Oh come on Sara" Catherine begs "Alexis wants to see the lab, please it will be my pleasure"

I'm not going to win this I see, ok think Sara, think. I know run away and get a disguise, I know a nun, nope that won't work; don't think they allow three year old nuns? Or do they?

"Mommy?" Alexis begs again "Please, I can be ready in two seconds"

"I'm not going to win this am I?" I enquired receiving two shakes of the head "Ok, go pack a bag Lexie and we will go to see where I used to work"

Lexie runs from the room as quick as lightening and squeals in delight, I see Catherine out of the corner of my eye smiling and rolling on the balls of her feet in triumph, I take back what I said earlier, I going to kill Catherine Brass if it's the last thing I do.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Well who would have thought a three year old and well I'm not sure how old Catherine is, so I'm going to say fifty, dear god I hope she don't read this, if I disappear you know Catherine has killed me, ok where was I? Oh yes my daughter and friend? Could I call Catherine a friend? I guess so, ok so my daughter and my friend were sat in the car laughing and joking, I think Alexis has a favourite.

"Mommy are we there yet?" Alexis moaned "My butt fell asleep"

"Alexis, don't use words like that" Catherine said to Lexie in shock.

"Why? We all have a butt" Lexie replied squirming in her car seat "Mommy I need to go to the bathroom"

"We are at the lab; don't get your panties in a twist" I announce smiling at Catherine who was still in shock "Cath you ok?"

"Abah urhh do dha" Catherine babbled at me.

"Sorry could you repeat that? In English if possible?" I ask trying desperately not to laugh "Hello earth to Catherine, hello?"

"Did you say something Sara?" Catherine enquired helping Lexie out of her car seat and onto the sidewalk.

"Mommy I really need to pee" Alexis whined dragging Catherine towards the lab "Hurry up!"

I follow my daughter and Catherine into the building, I walk up to Judy at reception and ask for two visitors badges, one for me and one for Alexis, I then walk to the bathroom and instantly brought to tears from laughing at something Lexie just shouted at Catherine, you want to know what it was? Of course you do.

"Is that a piece of wire up your butt, or did your butt get hungry?" Alexis enquires the cheekiness clear in her voice.

"Well, no my butt is awake and it's not hungry" Catherine explained seeing me out of the corner of her eye "It's just what adults wear"

"You mean men got to wear those too?" Alexis asked turning to me "No wonder Mr Bold was so grumpy; his wire was up his butt!"

"Who's Mr Bold?" Catherine asks looking at me.

"Mr Bold was a grumpy mid forties man who needed to get la..." I reply being cut off by Catherine.

"Oh my word you look at the time, shift's almost about to start" Catherine says grabbing Lexie's hand and moving out the room, before turning to me and saying "You coming Sara?"

I walk out of the bath room and smile as I see my daughter walking quickly ahead looking at everything and everyone; I turn to Catherine to thank her for bringing me here when I hear a crash and the startled scared voice of my baby girl.

"MOMMY!" Alexis wailed from the floor "MAKE MEAN MAN GO AWAY!"

"SIDLE?" Ecklie asks loudly scaring Lexie even more "I thought you lived in San Francisco?"

"Get out my way Conrad" I snarl picking up my frightened little girl "Well move then"

"Come on Sara, come into my office" Catherine instruct me grabbing hold of my arm "Sara please your only scaring Lexie even more"

I didn't see Warrick, Nick, Greg or Grissom walk out of the break room and up towards me, me being angry and wanting to kill Ecklie right now.

"Sara is that you?" Greg asked in astonishment "Really you?"

"Can I get out of this corridor?" I ask looking at Catherine who leads me away from the group and into her office "Well that went well"

"Yea I agree, maybe we should have waited...hey don't you guys know how to knock?" Catherine asks the four men just inside her doorway "Well come in then"

I knew this day would come and the butterflies have gone into overdrive in the pit of my stomach, ahh help!

"So who's the little girl? She's a cutie" Warrick remarked sitting beside me "Hey sweetheart my name is Warrick and I'm a friend of this lady here"

"Dude this is no lady, she's my mommy!" Alexis announced proudly looking over at Catherine "Cath can I come sit with you?"

"Sure thing Lexie" Catherine replies smiling at the gang, one quiet gang I may add.

"These people are strange Cath" Lexie says hugging into Catherine's chest "I'm sleepy Aunt Cathy"

"Ok baby go rest your head on my shoulder good girl" Catherine replies rubbing small circles on my daughters back "Well say something guys"

"You have a..." Warrick stutters staring at me as if I had another head.

"Daughter" Nick finished looking at me, shock clear across his face.

"What's her name and who is her daddy?" Greg enquires ducking automatically.

"Alexis Sidle and her daddy is..." I reply being cut of by Grissom.

"ME!" Grissom shouts "Excuse me"

Grissom storms out of Catherine's office and into his, I follow him knowing that Alexis would be safe with her Aunt Cathy, hold on wait a minute did she really say that? Oh yea she did, well ok then.

"Grissom what the hell is wrong with you?" I snarl hands on hips ready for a war.

"More to the point Sara how could you? Why did you keep her away from me?" Grissom asks rubbing his temples.

"You didn't read that letter did you?" I ask knowing the answer it was that obvious from the goldfish stood in front of me, namely called Gil Grissom "Well obviously not, you jerk!"

I storm out of Grissom's office and into Catherine's where Nick, Greg and Warrick were in shock but pulled me into a group hug, I was glad to be back but also I wasn't a jerk called Gil Grissom saw to that.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

"So what's upset you?" Nick asks walking me to the spare chair and then proceeding to sit on the arm of the chair "You don't mind me sitting here do you?"

"No sit where you like" I reply rubbing my face "I just can't believe he didn't even look at that letter, I poured my heart into that thing, telling him about Lexie, he then blames me for keeping her a secret"

"What a jerk!" Nick replies "Who could deny that little princess?"

"Grissom obviously" Greg said turning around when hearing Grissom cough behind him "What do you want?"

"I want you to do what you're paid for your job" Grissom replies looking over at a sleeping Lexie "Sara she can't stay here"

"You can both stay with me" Nick announces quickly "You don't mind do you Sar?"

"One problem, you're working tonight" I say standing up and picking up Alexis's bag from the floor.

"Nope I was on swing shift, so I'm ready to go" Nick replies grabbing my bag from my shoulder "Oh sorry you want to hold the bag or you want to hold Lexie?"

"I can manage both thanks, I will need Lexie's car seat out of your car Cath" I ask smiling at Catherine holding onto my daughter "That suits you holding onto her"

"Ok let's go get it" Catherine replies walking out the room carrying Lexie, I follow quickly trying to avoid Grissom's stares.

I walk slowly behind Catherine as Nick walks beside me; I can sense him staring at me, so I turn to him to ask him what the hell was up.

"What's wrong Nicky?" I ask placing my hand on his arm "You seem distant?"

"Sorry I just cant believe that Grissom would do such a thing" Nick replies sighing "Look if the person I loved walked away and left me a note, I would read it and then with that information come after them and bring them back so that I could help them raise the baby"

"Calm down Nicky" I exclaim shocked at my best friend's outburst "Nicky as Lexie's godfather"

"GODFATHER??" Nicky squealed in delight while spinning me around "God I'm so happy, Sara you have made me the happiest man alive"

"I wish you were Lexie's father" I whisper looking at the floor.

Nick looked at me; I hope he didn't hear me, well if he did sod it! I walk quickly to his car and help Catherine buckle Alexis into the car seat, Catherine winks at me for some strange reason, it was then that I saw Grissom storming towards me, waving his arms in the air like a crazed baboon.

"SARA!" Grissom yells still waving his arms in the air "Where do you think your going?"

"God Grissom are you really that dense? I'm going to stay with Nick or didn't your ears pick up on that?" I snap gently closing the car door and walking towards the passenger side "If I was you Grissom I would back off, while you still can"

"Is that a threat?" Grissom enquires storming up to me and pinning me against the car "WELL?"

"Gil back off" Catherine asks pulling at Grissom's arm "Now Gil, don't make me scratch your eyes out"

Grissom storms off, Catherine pulls me into a hug and opens the passenger door, shoves me in and then closes it behind her, something tells me she wants me to go forth and multiply. The drive to the house was quiet, well apart from the snores from the back seat, as we pull into Nick's driveway Lexie wakes up and finds energy from her shoelace, I know that's impossible but my child never seems to wake up in a bad mood, so unlike me.

"Mommy where are we? Hi Nicky" Alexis said winking at Nick "Do you have a massive garden?"

"Yea I sure do kiddo" Nick replies coming to a full stop and getting out the car, forgetting to unbuckle himself "WOAH!"

"God Nicky you're meant to un do your belt, not strangle yourself with it, here let me show you how normal sane people do it" Alexis says showing Nick how to do his belt and getting out the car "Now you try it"

"Why you cheeky little madam" Nick exclaims putting his hand across his chest and being dramatic "Alexis Sidle, don't be so mean to me"

"No chance, your much older than me get used to it" Lexie replies giggling loudly as Nick picks her up and tickles her like crazy "Uncle Nicky stop it please"

"I'll open the door than shall I?" I enquired walking up to the front door, looking under the mat and finding the spare key "Nick you live in Vegas, bit risky leaving your spare key under your doormat"

"Well I would give you my key, but as I have a three year old attached to my back I can't so deal with it" Nick replies returning to tickling Lexie "You ready to come down baby doll?"

"No" Lexie replies hugging into Nick neck "I want to stay with you all the time, mommy is Nick my daddy?"

"No baby girl he is not" I reply looking at Nick and giving him a weak smile as an apology "Sorry Nick"

"Mommy can Uncle Nick be my daddy?" Lexie asks looking around the entrance of the house "Wow this place is huge, where do you keep your shoes?"

"Well where you're standing" Nick replies laughing as Lexie stares at him.

"You mean you just come home, kick off your shoes and leave them there?" Lexie enquires looking around the room "Seriously? Don't you have a shoe rack or a closet?"

"You can tell she's been around you too long" Nick remarks "Neat freak"

"Hey don't be getting on at my mommy" Alexis says getting defensive before taking in a deep breath and continuing "Sorry Uncle Nicky, can we have a tour?"

"Sure thing baby doll" Nick replies tickling Lexie under her chin "Take off your shoes put them neatly by the door and follow me"

Alexis sits down, takes off her shoes and placing them neatly by the door, she then waits patiently for me and Nick to do the same, she then grabs Nick's hand and mine and drags us off around the house, one thing I do wish happened all those years ago, was to actually take Nick up on his offer, because just maybe he would be Alexis's daddy, god knows he was doing a better job thus far.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi guys and gals.

I apologise if you thought this was a update, I'm afraid to tell that it is not!

I'm currently going through a bad time, several things have occurred within my family in such a short space of time and I'm afraid my stories have been neglected, even those that I was going to update, which were so long without updates I had to re read them to catch up with what was happening.

I'm afraid to say that I lost my brother and his wife currently three weeks ago, they left behind seven kids their oldest being seventeen and their youngest being born three months early. I'm currently looking after the three youngest which includes baby Summer along with my massive brood.

I do have one request of my fellows readers and reviewers and most importantly my friends, please don't be upset; although that maybe hard I know, but please if any of you have any ideas for my stories and I do mean any ideas, then please make a note, email me or even if you want to make a start then it would be greatly appreciated.

Lots of love Kayla Louise xxx


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